


but it's nice to say that we played in the dirt

by earlgrey_milktea



Series: milktea's saso2017 fills [28]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, Mild Angst, Prompt Fill, relationships are hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 07:05:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11412780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgrey_milktea/pseuds/earlgrey_milktea
Summary: relationships are messy. but that's just how they work, koutarou supposes.





	but it's nice to say that we played in the dirt

**Author's Note:**

> original prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/22341.html?thread=13091397#cmt13091397)
> 
>  _the playlist:_  
>  Jason Mraz - A Beautiful Mess

Koutarou stares down at the people walking down the street. There’s a lady walking her dog over there, but he can’t even work up the energy to be excited about it. He’s still feeling the freezing stiffness locking his limbs in place like it always does when Akaashi levels him with that cold, flat stare, the one that makes his green eyes look like sharpened jade stones, and Koutarou can barely remember to breathe.

You’d think he’d have gotten used to how ruthless Akaashi can be. But, Koutarou supposes, one does not simply “get used to” Akaashi Keiji.

It’s Koutarou’s fault, really. He knew Akaashi was having a Bad Day. Koutarou can’t help it, he craves attention and company, and he especially craves Akaashi. When they’re both at home, he finds himself gravitating towards the other man, settling on the couch next to him while he’s scrolling away on his tablet, dropping into the chair next to him when he’s eating a late meal. Akaashi is Koutarou’s favourite person—arguably even higher on the list than Kuroo, but Akaashi isn’t always his favourite person to be around. 

See, the thing with Akaashi is this: he is winter grace and winter ruthlessness all in one. Akaashi is as beautiful and breathtaking as snowfall in the middle of the night, smart and captivating, wicked sharp humour. But Akaashi is as biting as December cold, quick with his opinions and harsh with his quips. Akaashi is proud and Koutarou both loves and hates that about him.

But Koutarou is just as proud. He doesn’t know how to make his words sharp and dripping with honey-poison like Akaashi does, but he knows the bitter tang of stubbornness and the chill that sets in during a cold war behind closed doors. He knows the burning flames that rise from his gut to his throat, bypassing his brain as he spits back accusations he doesn’t mean just to watch the disbelieving widening of Akaashi’s eyes. He knows the exhaustion that comes with every fight, the crushing heaviness in his ribcage because what if Akaashi is right, what if they weren’t meant for this after all, what if this time is the last time, what if they’ve really broken themselves too far.

The balcony door slides open behind him. Koutarou doesn’t turn his head, but he can picture Akaashi’s face clear as day; the downward tilt of his lips, the way his gaze slides to the side and flickers away from Koutarou, the weary lines around his eyes. 

“Koutarou-san,” Akaashi says, voice drawn and quiet.

“Akaashi,” Koutarou says back.

There’s a pause, and years ago Koutarou would have been shaking in his seat at the stifling silence. But Koutarou has years of practice reading Akaashi’s silences now, and this one is as familiar as his own reflection.

“What do you want for dinner?” he says, stretching out his arms. 

Akaashi slips into the other chair. He looks out at the street below them, too, and when Koutarou risks a glance over, his frown isn’t as severe as Koutarou thought. “How about we eat out today?”

Koutarou hums. “We could try that new restaurant by the library.”

“Okay.” Akaashi tips his head back, and Koutarou watches a slight breeze brush through his messy curls. It’s gotten long again. 

“It’s nice today, isn’t it?” he says quietly, and Koutarou knows that Akaashi hears what he doesn’t say. 

_ I’m sorry, and you are, too, aren’t you? We’re still okay, aren’t we? We’re going to be okay, won’t we? _

“Yes,” Akaashi replies just as quietly, and Koutarou closes his eyes.

He tilts his face towards the sky, and allows the mess between them to fade back like the tide, for another day, for another day.

**Author's Note:**

> @puddingcatbae tumblr/twitter~~


End file.
